30 Things You Don’t Want To Hear In Surgery(sub-page of THINGS TO DO)
- Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
- Someone call the janitor - we’re going to need a mop.
- “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
- Hand me that….uh….that uh….thingie.
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
- Darn, there go the lights again…
- Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of ‘em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off..
- What’s this doing here?
- I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here..
- That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
- I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all.
- Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
- And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.
- OK, now take a picture from this angle.
- This is truly a freak of nature.
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean “You want a divorce”!
- She’s gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
- Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Anything! Period.